Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
