with your own penis?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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