How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
