dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
