The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
