Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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