Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
