youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
