Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
