So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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