The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
