Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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