remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize