apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
