the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
