I can tuck mytits in my pants
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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