just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize