this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
