Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Randomize
