bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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