i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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