shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We need to get me chipped asap
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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