Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
