She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
