Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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