I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
