he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
