We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
