I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
