Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize