there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
