Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
being pregnant is like rehab
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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