he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
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i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
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Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face