I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.