Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public