So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
