She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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