I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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