I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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