Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
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You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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