How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
