So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
