I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize