Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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