I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
40s are totally the cure
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
