Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
