Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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