It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
