I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
