i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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