Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.