Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done