So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
