No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
