i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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