Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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