I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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