this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Shame - the story of my life.
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