Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
