Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
