About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
