Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
