Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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